We frequently hear people say, “it’s ok not to be okay”. What does that mean though? Is it really ok? Well, of course, it is ok but there’s a certain point when it becomes not ok too. When you’re down in the dumps don’t stay there. Your feelings are valid and that is the first thing to remember, but wallowing in them and giving yourself permission to feel them are completely different things.
So yes, it is ok to not be ok. You have to love yourself through it, which isn’t always easy. Trust me I know. I’m only in my 20 something’s but life has handed me lemons many times. Its more like life threw them at me! I am super grateful for every experience because without them I wouldn’t know what to say to you. Being in a yucky space is hard and before I became best friends with doing the work, I led a life full of depressive episodes and panic anxiety.
It’s ok not to be ok, that’s not the part that isn’t ok. Figuring yourself out is such a hard game but think about how much energy you’re willing to put into other people and relationships. Here’s the secret to managing not being ok, don’t run away! The more you run, the more it follows you. You can’t run away from what’s going on inside of you. Don’t feel shame or guilty because you’re not ok, everyone has been in tough spaces they just look different for everyone.
Go get some sunlight. The sun is our friend. Move around no matter what that means, whether you go for a walk, a run or do some yoga. Accept yourself and whatever you can do at that moment. You not feeling your best doesn’t make you any less of the person you were at one hundred percent, you are still the same person. You’re amazing. When we aren’t ourselves we tend to fill our heads up with all these negative thoughts about ourselves and they simply aren’t true. Most of the time your inner critic is the biggest critic you will ever encounter.
In order to dive into that self-exploration, really think about what uplifts your mood. Do you like music? Do you like to write or journal? Ignore the voice in your head that might tell you something like “I just can’t right now”. You can! You get to decide what you do and how you move through everything right? So decide. If you like music, make a playlist of at least 15 songs to uplift you when you’re in a yucky mood. If singing along is fun for you, make a playlist of songs you can sing along to and have a blast by yourself.
Identify your support system, if you don’t have one, seek one. I don’t come from a completely supportive space or a space that has an abundance of natural support. Sometimes the people in our lives can’t provide what we need. There’s nothing wrong with joining groups, whether virtual or in person. Think of all the ways you could support yourself. Change is constant, so what you need will constantly change and that’s ok.
Explore strategies that help you quiet the mind such as meditation and journaling. Don’t talk yourself into believing that you have to be an “expert” to exercise these tools. Everyone has to start somewhere. You can’t become an expert without beginning. Self-work looks different for everyone, accept whatever your work looks like. If you need counseling don’t be afraid to go out there and get it. If you’ve been stuck in a rut for more than 2 weeks, having outside help may help even more.
It is really ok not to be ok.
Don’t judge yourself or your process. Just know that every part of it isn’t pretty but you are exactly where you’re supposed to be no matter what that looks like. You are perfect just the way you are, you have a place in this world that only belongs to you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Being in my 20 somethings is weird there are friends getting married and having kids, some doing the same things they were in high school or excelling in their careers.
Your story is not theirs.
Trust yourself, give yourself what you need and I promise you will be ok.
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